


Wreck

by cuddlesome



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anger Management, Canon-Typical Violence, Drabble, Introspection, Kylo Ren Throws A Tantrum, Kylo being Kylo, Lightsabers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 11:24:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5538059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlesome/pseuds/cuddlesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lightsaber, "an elegant weapon", is often used for little more than venting anger in Kylo Ren's hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wreck

**Author's Note:**

> First Star Wars fic WOOO!

At times, the only thing that can soothe Kylo Ren is destroying whatever's closest to him. His lightsaber, rather than the Force, provides the quickest satisfaction. It scares some of the troopers and amuses others, but what both groups have in common is the sense to stay the hell away when he's upset or risk getting their limbs lopped off.

The crackle of energy drowns out the intermingling whispers in the Force and the blood pounding in his ears. Indiscriminately, his lightsaber guts computer terminals, slices deep scores across walls, and bit by bit manages to cut down the anger in Kylo until he calms.

Someday, Snoke warns, the crystal will implode in light of the abuse Kylo exercises with an already unstable weapon. When that happens, he’s liable to lose a hand, or worse.

(Kylo thinks of his grandfather and wonders if that injury would be such a bad thing.)

Until that day comes, he’s unconcerned. Kylo slashes his way through countless pieces of expensive equipment that he knows Hux bemoans once he's out of sight. Phasma could care less, only relieved that he's stopped practicing using the Force on her troops and leaving them in pieces once he found them frustratingly slow-minded.

It’s for the better. Kylo finds that he prefers taking out his anger on stationary objects. No resistance. No screaming or fighting back or begging for mercy, like--

(The inside of his mask smells like blood and vomit and viscera whenever he thinks of his uncle’s Padawans.)

Sometimes, it gets to be too much, and in the privacy of his quarters he rips off his mask with a gasp, breathing in the unfiltered air deeply. Always, always, he makes the mistake of catching sight of his reflection in the mirror or a window against the backdrop of space and he has the urge to rip his face apart. He doesn’t, though, instead hacking apart the mirror until it’s a puddle of scorched goo on the floor and punching the layered glass that separates him from the vacuum of space. Only when the first layer of glass is riddled with cracks and his hands are bruised and bleeding does he stop.

(He wishes everything he broke would stop being replaced while he’s out, as if in a mockery. _You don’t matter! You haven’t changed anything! Everything destroyed can be replaced, even, no, especially you._ )

Although the sight of his reflection temporarily gone, he shoves the mask back on. The Force or perhaps his own imagination maintains the sick death-smell, but he never once considers destroying the mask like he does with so many other objects. It means too much to him, and he clings to it even after several close calls where it almost failed to protect him in battle.

(Darth Vader's mask and his own are the only things safe from his fits of temper.)

Behind the safety of his mask once more, Kylo wrecks the rest of his room. He doesn’t do it out of any one reason, but for far too many stacked on top of each other. His frustrated screams--at the Resistance, at the First Order, but more often at his mother, his father, his uncle, Obi-Wan Kenobi, (and himself most of all)--are garbled through the vocoder.

When he comes down from his anger, he sits down amidst the chaos he created and meditates, wondering in the back of his mind if his feelings had helped him get any closer to the Dark side. As he struggles to find his place in the Force, Kylo holds his deactivated lightsaber, gripping the hilt so tightly it’s a wonder he doesn’t crush the metal and shatter the crystal inside right then and there.


End file.
